The Runaway

Photo: Stranded by Redeemer-of-light


I don't know how to start this blog... I never knew that I would become the person to share my life online. But I guess... at this point, I figure that I have lost enough...

... So loosing a bit more, really wouldn't matter that much to me.

I guess to open this blog, I should say that 2 years ago, I never thought that I would be here. I always figured that I would have a different story.

You know, one of those stories that would end with me being content. At this point, I am not sure. True, I am not at the end (though who could ever say what tomorrow holds for me). But from what I can see, I just feel like I am stuck.


2 years ago, I was in a somewhat stable/comfortable life, living with Carradin (my ex-husband). True, our marriage wasn't the best, true he had a short temper, true everything felt so frustrating. But I still could never imagine that, in less than a year, the only man who I believed was kind to me, would turn into a monster.

August 14th 2008, I wanted to go to a Reggae Concert. To me, being around Jamaican culture is very important to me. Especially considering that Jamaica is where my family comes from. And also considering that I lived in Seattle, a cute small/big town deprived of west indian culture.

I moved to Seattle, 6 years ago, from London (a city thriving with West Indian culture). So to suddenly be deprived of it, was kind of heart breaking. So I begged my husband to join me to go to the concert.

I bought the tickets. And told him I would go alone. But he didn't want me to go alone. So he came with me, even though he complained alot about 'how he had to go to work the following day'. But through out the whole day, he was being a total ass. Telling me to drape myself in layers of clothing that not even my grandma would wear. Mysteriously, the clothes I decided set out earlier, were covered in stains, when I went to put them on. Then the whole act of falling alseep in the club. And being a jurk for the whole day, finding ways to start arguments.

So, we ended up leaving early. And I didn't even get to see the person I paid to see. So... when we got home, I was upset. And wanted to go for a walk (my way of calming down), to calm down.

He refused to let me go out. Pushing me away from the door each time I went towards the door. Eventually, after ripping my bag off my shoulder, throwing my shoes across the room, he grabbed me on the throat, and shoved me around the apartment.


After that incident... I left. And since leaving him, I have been through so much, that I am surprised that I can still mentally function.


The question is: Is runaway the better solution?